A CHRISTMAS GIFT GUIDE FOR THOSE HARD-TO-BUY-FOR A$$H@*#S

The Holiday’s are upon us and we now only have 24 days left to buy meaningful gifts for our closest loved ones…and not so closest loved ones, if we have to spend another $5 on some shitty office gift exchange present we may just binge drink on full fat eggnog and slip into a holiday coma (we may just do that anyways). But truly, who has the time to shop for thoughtful gifts all while maintaining a full time regular job, maintaining a full time holiday job (of trying to eat every type of festive goodie within reach), AND attending a minimum of 8 holiday parties per week? NO ONE! That’s who! So yeah, buying thoughtful gifts can be a stressful, especially if you have a few tough sugar cookies on your list this year. This year we have narrowed it down to three categories of some of the hardest people to shop for, so let our gift guide show you the way to happy gift giving this holiday season, minus the stress.

For . . . The bitch who has everything

Ok we all have this lady in our lives, this is the woman who has different glass charms for every holiday (or doesn’t have glass charms at all?). She gets excited about buying weird useless kitchen gadgets and several different sizes of decorative bowls because she literally has EVERYTHING! Or does she? Take a look at our list, if that bitch has a Star Wars windshield sunshade then we will walk around in a Chewbacca outfit all of January for letting you down.

Image of the bitch who has everything Christmas gift guide, read more about it at the neat blog

1. The Eyesicle  2. MT Masking Tape  3. Colour Me Good ARRGGGHHHH! Colouring book  4. All in one 4 gallon globe aquarium  5. Resin iPhone Stand  6. Edmee box  7. Star wars millennium falcon windshield sunshade  8. Chopstick Rests

Unisex Secret Santa

So you picked Don’s name for the office Secret Santa, or is it Dawn? He/She could really go both ways here, are those real boobs or man boobs? Is that a men’s $15 haircut from Good Cuts or a fuck-you-pixie to all of the chauvinistic asswipes of the world that say a woman’s worth is measured by her hair length?  Are those Woman’s Gap cargo pants or Men’s Gap cargo pants? (Side note to Gap, stop making Cargo pants).  Stop torturing yourself and err on the side of caution; our unisex gifts will stop you from having to ask, “So how did the gender reassignment surgery go?” to the wrong person…again.

Image of the unisex secret santa Christmas gift guide, read more about it at the neat blog

1. Kelly Moore pilot backpack  2.Perforated Calendar  3. Confetti System new comet pinata  4. Cranium  5. Hudson’s Bay stripped thermos  6. CDT Office Gift Set  7. Swiss Army climber silver tech

Shit your boyfriend wants (but we don’t actually know because we have vaginas so cut us some slack)

Men are hard to buy for (coming from a couple of broads over here). They want weird shit like five different types of headphones and a thermostat. Huh? We have no use for these practical gifts but apparently our boyfriends and husbands do, our resident NEAT Man Nick, told us so. So this year instead of buying him another crappy sweater he won’t wear (but actually will to avoid hurt feelings), buy him something off of our list.  Or your could give him the gift of honesty this year and just ask him what he wants.

Image of a Christmas gift guide for your boyfriend, read more about it at the neat blog

1. Milled head hammer  2.Vinyl Me, Please Record subscription 3. Kakkoii LOOP’d speaker  4. August smart lock  5. Bose quiet comfort noise cancelling headphones  6. Ultimate Ears boom bluetooth speaker  7. Nest thermostat  8. GoPro Hero 4  9. Schwood Sunglasses

Finally, when in doubt just give socks, they may be disappointed at first but they will come to realize the merit of your gift come laundry day.

Happy Holidays!

– SS, KB, NT

  1. CHRISTMAS GIFT GUIDE 2016 - the NEAT blog Reply

    […] Holy shit, it’s almost Christmas! Which means in between trying to act sober at your boyfriends Christmas party and trying to choose the best chocolate in the Quality Street tin, so you can avoid the very real disappointment of biting into a nasty fruit flavoured one by accident, you have probably forgotten about a gift or two…or thirteen. Because we all know that Christmas really isn’t about the birth of sweet baby Jesus or goodwill to all men, it’s about presents! And if there is anything that Oprah has taught me from her 25 years on television it’s that giving copious amounts of useless shit to people is what truly makes them happy. Screw therapy and being your best self, give me your favourite things! […]

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