Anyone who lives in Canada knows that being prepared for the weather is a national pastime. Some might argue that it is an essential part of surviving in the north. It may even be part of the process of becoming a citizen, Excuse me Ma’am, we will now move on to the part of the Canadian Citizenship test where we search your car for an umbrella, jumper cables, a hat, a space blanket, sunscreen, a snow brush and an extra pair of winter boots.
The quickly changing weather can be annoying. Ask anyone who has gone bra-less on a sunny spring day only to become Queen of the wet t-shirt contest when caught in a sudden torrential downpour, #freethenipple. Or how about Chinook headaches in Calgary? Yes that is a thing and it sucks the big one.
But the Winter Season in particular can be a pain in the ass when it comes to weather preparation, especially in the outerwear department. While people from warmer climates may look at Canada in the winter and think we have a constant temperature for 8 months of the year, “Fucking Cold”, we Canadians know that this is simply not true. We have a whole myriad of “Fucking Cold” temperatures that require all different types of jackets and coats to keep our core temperatures stable.
Any good Canadian knows that one misstep in your outerwear game can mean you will either have a chill for the next 6 months or you will have a sheet of back sweat coming through your shirt when you remove your coat. This is why Canadians tend to have several different “Winter Coats” so they can dress appropriately for the weather and avoid hypothermia and heat stroke in the same season.
We at NEAT have taken it upon ourselves to roundup some of our favourite winter jackets that will keep your body temperature stable and your fashion game on point.
+10°C to -5°C : This is such lovely weather, I would enjoy it more if I didn’t know it was a product of climate change
-5°C to -20°C: This is cold enough to be bearable but also to maintain my status as a touch as fuck Canadian, eh
-20°C and BEYOND: Why do I live here? Why do I live here? Why do I live here? Oh right, Universal Health Care
FUCK the weather: I’ll freeze in the name of fashion, who needs fingers anyways?
Stay warm out there kids!
-KB + SS